$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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