Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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