Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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