woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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