The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
