So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
