Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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