I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
