did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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