The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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