Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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