Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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