So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
