haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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