I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
