Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
