i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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