Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
