Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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