Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize