she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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