wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
