i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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