is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
