I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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