True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
