He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize