fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
