Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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