Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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