its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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