erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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