I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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