im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
