Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
