I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
