Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
