he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
