Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
