We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
