So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
