I want to walk on stilts...naked
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
