He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Let's paint friendship bongs
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
