YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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