It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
