I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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