So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
