It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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