I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
