you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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