I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
