And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am available for nakedness
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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