I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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