We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize