Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
