You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
