i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
