Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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