I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize