He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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