I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
