Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
